Thursday, April 08, 2010

Earl to Tiger and Back

"I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. Did you learn anything?" Earl asks.

Ten Answers Tiger Might Give Earl Woods:
1. I just wanted sex, just like everybody wants something from me.
2. I feel like dog sh*t.
3. I feel like a boy of twelve, whose mom just pulled him out of a whorehouse.
4. I feel like I’m standing in a toilet, pressing on the plunger.
5. I’m wondering if my kids will ever know me as more than a whore chaser.
6. I'm wondering how I can be so great and f**ked up at the same time.
7. Masturbating was a lot simpler, and safer.
8. How do I fix this?
9. I’m just a golfer.
10. Everybody suffers - no exceptions.

James C. Collier


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The Observer said...

Here’s a few more… :-)

I just wanted to help out the sport by making sure there would be a steady supply of brilliant golfers in the future.

I just needed some help with my stick handling.

I just wanted to score a hole in one.

I swear, I didn’t ejaculate.

I just wanted to give my balls a shine.

I just felt like a birdie.

I seriously thought it was Elin.

She told me she was Swedish.

Boy that was better than golf.

Next time I’ll insist that she puts a bag over her head.

George said...

"everybody suffers - no exceptions"

I don't think even Tiger Woods's head is far enough up his ass to believe that his 'suffering' is in any way comparable to the real suffering going on in the world.

ronnie brown said...

this is what happened to guys who have extraordinary talent, honed in a hermetically sealed social environment, shielded from the slings and arrows of the common rights of passage of the street...raised as a messiah figure by dad's delusions of grandeur...Tiger forgot he was just a regular cat...not a symbol, not a universal role he's going to be held to an impossible standard as a man...and he may crack because of it...