Friday, January 29, 2010

#2 Blacks and Bluetooth

I think whoever invented Bluetooth, the technology that allows cellular gizmos to extend their wireless-ness, knows Black people in a scary way. Maybe it was Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry.

Starting from years back, when Motorola came out with the first $200+ versions, Black people have bought these things like hot wings. Something about not missing that call from that special lady/man just seemed to capture folks. But then, it got out of hand. I’m in a restaurant, grocery store, bank, movie, and blam! - someone is talking into his ear and interrupting the flow of everything around them. Now I understand if you are Jay-Z or Russ Simmons and you have been waiting for a call on a multi-million dollar deal, but please people, not during Avatar! If you listen in, it often goes like this, ‘whasup?, where you at?’, ‘what you eat’in? Really! Damn! Bring me some.’

Do people think that Bluetooth can make their average lives look more interesting, than if they were talking between two used soup cans, connected with a string? I was at the ATM the other day and a women was going on loudly into her 'tooth' about who she was sleeping with and whose business it was and wasn’t. It certainly was not my business, but she was making sure I knew every last, nasty, skanky detail. When she finished her banking she turned around to glare at me, whereupon I gave her my best Stevie Wonder imitation, as I don’t know how to feign deafness.

Deep-down, I blame talk-shows and reality television. This is where Hollywood placed a commercial value on people’s below-average, raggedy-ass, lives. With this, too many Black people lost all reserve for letting others see their self-jacked-up day-to-day struggles. Before that, people kept their business in the closet, like a special Uncle, and spent their evenings trying to clean it up. Today, everybody is looking for the chance to show their Jerry Springer ‘drawls’ to whoever will pay them two-cents, however shameless.

What really gets me is when folks are somewhere that forbids cell phone usage, like hospitals. Their retort, when approached by the staff is to say, “I’m not talking on my cell phone, this is Bluetooth (expletive optional)!” I just shake my head and do my Stevie – I didn’t see it, and I don’t want to hear it.

James C. Collier


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William O'Neal said...

Peep game!

Anonymous said...

Bluetooth and cell phones in general have become a status symbol of those hoping for status not too mention a waste of money when many that constantly have a cell phone shoved in their ear obviously have better use for the money.

Just more evidence of people gone crazy over absolutely nothing because they have no self esteem...

Imp said...

I will second that much. I especially like the emphasis you put on hollywood and reality tv in this phenomenon.

Anonymous said...

Blacks use Bluetooth technology because it is a status symbol, and not necessarily because they are worrked about missing a call. (In fact, blacks use 90% of all the Bluetooth devices that are in use in the United states). It is because society puts blacks at the bottom of the social rung, that blacks need to do anything they can to enhance their status, such as drive large cars with shiny chrome wheels; hyphenate their last names; have odd or unusual first names; put "Dr." in front of their name; stand and walk in exaggerate postures; and speak in peculiar ways. All of this is used as an attempt to elevate their social status and make them feel more confident about themselves. Generally speaking, wealthy, well-educated blacks don't have the necessity to use these affectations.